We have a lot of issues with personal hygiene in this house. I think I owe it to the internet to write an entire post on how many days I can go without showering, how that even happens, and tips on how to fool people into thinking you aren’t one of those dirty hippie types until you go and tell the whole world…ooops. Maiya HATES, I cannot express this enough, HATES getting her diaper changed. Six to eight times a day I get to pick up my sweet baby, set her on the changing table and endure kicking and screaming, and throwing, and growling, and tears, and me holding my breath and trying not to yell SHUT UP ALREADY. According to my calculations, we have changed her diaper approximately 4,200 times since she was born. And every single flippin time you would think that we just came up with this brand new game of torture. But I didn’t start this post to talk about Maiya, this is all for Mason.
Since he was a baby Mason has hated getting his fingernails clipped. I was always trying to find ways to distract him and nothing ever worked more than once. Now he has no problem with his fingernails, but oh holy god in heaven, do not try to clip that kids toenails. Worse than changing Maiya’s diaper. Worse. I have never seen such enormous tear drops. He gets so upset that it makes Maiya upset and then there we are all crying over his toenails. That was a good time. We have tried every bribe possible. Can you believe that eating a tootsie pop, trying to distract him by making him count the licks to get to the tootsie roll and promising a bowl of ice cream after didn’t work?! Oh well, we can always wear shoes so no one knows what a bad mom I am.
Until you look at his hair. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Mason has also decided that he will not get a haircut. When you ask him when he is going to get his haircut he will tell you “None day! I don’t need a haircut! None day Mom!” So then I ask him what he is going to do when his hair gets long like Mom’s hair. “It won’t. It is just going to get cooler and cooler.” And what if we took him to a cool place where he could ride a motorcycle while a pretty girl cuts his hair? “None day!” He won’t let me comb it, and cries when we wash it, but he tells me his hair will get “cool like a snowcat driver.” I have to admit that about 75% of the time his hair looks awesome. It went through that weird growing out stage, but it really did get cooler and cooler. How did he know that?! The problem is that when he wakes up his hair is insane. If we leave the house before noon he looks like I adopted a homeless boy. My plan was that after running around on some hot summer days he would be asking me for a haircut. 3 weeks of mid-90degree days and my plan has backfired. Plan B is to remind myself that his days are numbered in the hair department and to let him enjoy it now. My brothers went through the no haircut stage in high school, 3 1/2 is a little early!
I totally remember fighting with my mom about showering when I was a kid. I guess this is my payback….sorry mom!
We are a strong-willed bunch over here.